anyway animal rights activism will be inherently disingenuous and indeed actively harmful unless y’all recognize that 1) not every country has industrialized the consumption of meat to the extent that the west has 2) you absolutely need to prioritize human beings over animals given that basic humanity isn’t even afforded to a large fucking portion of the human population 3) your experiences are not universal and humans have been living off the land sustainably for literal millenia 4) capitalism is your enemy not poor people & people of color 5) stop fucking making slavery/holocaust anaologies. those are actual human beings. thanks
spiderman helping out the owner of a local art store and them giving him a spiderman discount so now miles only goes in there if hes in his suit
Art store owner realises his secret identity because miles was one of his favourite customers and now he’s suddenly stopped coming in
miles mentions he has to go to the art supply store and jefferson INSISTS on taking him on the way home from school on friday so he can Learn More about his son’s hobby and the owner gives him the fucking discount and miles just dies inside
Jefferson is like “hey why’d you leave so quick” and he’s just like “haha, I just remembered I had to swing by some other places after” and Jefferson adds another post it note to his secret conspiracy board of Is Miles Spiderman
swing by you say
Spiders-men are incapable of avoiding puns it’s their biggest weakness
florence welch: probably like 200 BCE celtic queen
keeanu reeves: 1500 renaissance hoe
jeff goldblum: late 1800′s i would guess
harry styles: fairly new immortal, 1970′s
lorde: 1920′s flapper era
hozier: man who even knows, rough estimate is like, 400 BCE
john mulaney: 1930′s/40′s, still bitter about the great depression probably and if he could put it in a bit with out being #exposed he would
paul rudd: newest to the immortal club, didn’t age past the 1990′s
I feel like this list is forgetting Sir Patrick Stewart who I believe has not aged since 7000 BCE.. After all his twin brother was the Kennewick man..
as a self-appointed expert on Hozier, i would say that date is possibly accurate.
many of Hozier’s songs reference being buried in the earth (In a Week, Work Song), and some are directly inspired by bog bodies (Like Real People Do, Run). two of the most famous Irish bog bodies, Old Croghan Man and Clonycavan Man, are dated between 392 and 175 BCE, and both are speculated to have been kings ritually sacrificed to the goddess of the land. in Take Me to Church, Hozier demonstrates a willingness to offer sacrifices to a goddess, and in Foreigner’s God, he thinks fondly upon the image of a pre-Christian Ireland (“when the land was God-less and free”). as well, Old Croghan Man is estimated to have been about 6′6, and Hozier is about 6′5.
the only possible flaw in this theory is that in a Facebook Q&A (here at 5:28), Hozier says that he is over 3000 years old. 400 BCE only puts him at ~2400. it could be that after so many years he’s lost track of how many thousands, but another possibility is that he is more contemporaneous with an older bog body, the Cashel Man, also presumed to be a sacrificed king. that would put him closer to 4000 than 3000, but again, we could forgive an immortal for getting his millenia wrong.
in any case,
it seems likely to me that Hozier is an ancient Irish king who was ritually sacrificed to the old gods, but somehow returned (possibly through intervention by said old gods) to give us music subtly hinting at his experiences.
this hozier addition is frighteningly detailed and I’m here for it
